tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
