He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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