Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
