We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
