It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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