Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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