"it" just moved
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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