dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
