she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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