Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
