were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
