I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
