yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
