i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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