Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
