I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Floor bacon is actually really good
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
