I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Drake has all the answers
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
