just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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