I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
