Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
