I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
