Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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