Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
