I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
