Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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