We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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