she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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