Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize