i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
