She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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