Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
