You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
