If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
