It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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