Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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