but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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