True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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