Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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