Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize