just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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