that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
