He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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