I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
