ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
