Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
