Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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