You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
