Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
