ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
