He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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