you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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