Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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