i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
this boner is exhausting
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
