she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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