Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
