Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Randomize