2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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