Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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