Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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