I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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