I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The uberlube is also flammable
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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