Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
