Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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