watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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